I love Gossip Girl as much as the next person. There’s nothing better after a long day than curling up in bed and immersing myself in all that is the Upper East Side and all its drama. Over the seasons, I fell in love with the characters, especially Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. When I first saw the show, I idealized them both. They were my relationship “goals” and I wanted everything they had. However, when I went back and re-watched the show some time later, having had a few years of relationship experience, I realized that these are definitely NOT my relationship goals. And they shouldn’t belong to anyone.
According to Healthy placeEmotional abuse is defined as “any act, including incarceration, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment that may diminish one’s sense of identity, dignity, and self-esteem.” Gossip Girl, and Chuck and Blair’s relationship is full of emotional abuse. Their relationship on the outside may seem like something out of a fairytale, full of expensive clothes and Chuck showering Blair with jewelry and flowers. But Chuck Bass is no knight in shining armor and Blair Waldorf is no mistress in distress.
From the beginning, their relationship has been unconventional. Blair cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with Chuck in the back of a limousine, then lied about it for a long time. When Chuck and Blair first started dating, she forgave him something simply because he had traveled to Europe and bought her a few things. They started dating over the summer, and their relationship consisted of a game where Chuck would seduce women and get them private and tease them, before Blair showed up and berated the specific woman for messing with a person in a relationship. Throughout the course of their relationship, both on and off, Chuck consistently treated Blair like an object and threw her around. How could anyone forget he traded her for a hotel? He dumped her in front of other women, even if he knew how he felt about her, and the two threw the words “I love you” around themselves and used them as bait. They both played games, lied to each other, went behind their backs to do things, and teased each other about their feelings.
Behind all those fun dates and supporting each other no matter what, Chuck and Blair’s relationship isn’t something to be looked up to. They eventually got lucky and got married, but the first five seasons of Gossip Girl proved to us that the odds were against them from the start and if they had enough common sense they would never have forgiven others for some of the things they did. Their relationship teaches us that it’s okay to lie to our partner and give up easily. They put feelings and games before what was right, using sex as something to hurt each other and other people. They got into relationships before they got over the other and were so inconsistent with the ups and downs of their relationship. They showed us that everything can be forgiven with an expensive necklace and a few words.
Their relationship contributes a lot to Gossip Girl and the show wouldn’t have been what it is without Chuck and Blair, but they shouldn’t be your goals in life. What their relationship MUST teach us is to always know your self worth and never settle for less than what you deserve. Think carefully before entering into a relationship, and never use a show as the basis for what your relationship should be like.
XOXO!