It’s three in the morning and your touch lingers on my cheek, your laughter still rings in my ears; your eyes are still staring into mine. It’s three in the morning and I’m walking down a busy city sidewalk, trying not to step on the cracks, laughing as we almost fall. It’s 3 AM and I’ve just pulled into our favorite eatery, and you ordered me breakfast.
It’s three in the morning and the place next to me on my bed is cold, lonely, untouched and printed with your figure. It’s three in the morning and your name is ringing in my head, your laughter echoing off the walls, or before; your face flashes through my eyes and for a moment I forget the cold. It’s three in the morning and my cheek is still stinging, my body doesn’t feel like mine; my eyes stare into the darkness of you.
It’s three o’clock in the morning and you’re standing in front of my door with a pebble. It’s three o’clock in the morning and I invite you to invite radiantly but silently so as not to wake anyone. Tip walks up the stairs. It’s three in the morning and you tell me I’m beautiful in and out of the dark. Stroking my hair and flooding the room with praise. It’s three in the morning and you’re sleeping so peacefully next to me. It’s 3 AM and your phone rings, why do I trust you?
It’s three in the morning and I can’t sleep.
It’s 3am when you tell me I’m crazy, she’s just a friend. It’s 3am when you tell me her body on your phone didn’t look like what I thought. Go back to bed, you said. It’s three in the morning when I silence my cry so as not to wake you. It’s three in the morning when you get tired of me and leave. Did you come home? You never let me know. Did you go home?
It’s three in the morning and I don’t feel good enough anymore. It’s 3am and I can’t breathe, what did I do wrong?
It’s 3 AM and your name on my phone makes me sad. It’s three in the morning and I feel sick just thinking about you and her. I rush to my bathroom where my mind tricks my stomach. Is this what was wrong with me?
It’s three in the morning when you tell me she’s not in your life anymore. You show me that you blocked her and deleted everything. It’s three in the morning and I’m letting you touch me to get it over with. It’s three in the morning and you think everything is fine in my head. It’s 3am when I compare myself to her, isn’t my body enough? Is there anything I can’t offer you?
It’s three in the morning and I think back to our good times. It’s three in the morning and I also remember the bad times. It’s three in the morning and I look at you and I don’t feel the same. It’s three in the morning and your touch no longer shoots electrically through my spine, looking at you just makes me sad, very sad. It’s three in the morning when I realize that you haven’t been mine alone for a long time.
It’s three in the morning when I don’t feel anything for you anymore. It’s three in the morning when I realize you’re lying through your perfect teeth right into my eyes that you claimed to love. It’s three in the morning when I let myself feel everything at once. It’s 3 AM when I decide I deserve someone to love me endlessly. I also decided that you didn’t deserve how I poured everything I had into you.
It’s three in the morning and I can finally sleep.