Friday, August 12, 2022

My (mis)adventures in online dating

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Shreya Christinahttps://cafe-madrid.com
Shreya has been with cafe-madrid.com for 3 years, writing copy for client websites, blog posts, EDMs and other mediums to engage readers and encourage action. By collaborating with clients, our SEO manager and the wider cafe-madrid.com team, Shreya seeks to understand an audience before creating memorable, persuasive copy.

Tinder, JDate, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, Chemistry.com, Match, Zoosk – just some of the names of major companies that promise to get you a date/potential partner. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I haven’t tried all these options, because I have. I haven’t been on a date in over a year and I haven’t dated anyone for almost two and a half years. Now I won’t lie I’m not the prettiest color in the box but other than that I have plenty to offer. I have a brain that I use every day, I’m pretty damn smart and I’ve been told I’m funny in the form of my utter sarcasm. But alas, this isn’t a personal ad hoping someone will see this and send me emails (but hey, if it does, that’s okay too).

Dating for millennials today is probably the worst it’s been. It all comes down to swiping left and swiping right and just glance at their profile and determine if you’re hot enough or not. It’s not like it was for our parents or for people our age in, say, the 1990s. It’s not like we can actually go to the nearest bar and start using pick-up lines for every stranger we meet. Everything now happens via the security of the internet. But the bad thing about this is that you can tell someone you’re an Abercrombie model, but in reality you’re a 200 pound hairy dude, playing “Dungeons and Dragons” in his boxers in his mom’s basement. You can sit there and tell me you’re 33 and a financial analyst on Wall Street works for a big profile bank, but you’re really 55 growing plants and tending your garden outside your kitchen window. I’m the type of person who likes to sit down at Starbucks and enjoy a nice caramel macchiato (four splendas, no whipped cream please) and talk about anything and everything. Long walks on the beach on beautiful summer evenings and hanging out in a hammock on summer weekends with barbecues and fire pits, concerts where I can get dressed or undressed and lose myself completely with the person I want to share my time with is my thing. Someone who will support and love me for my Disney obsession, and my drive to finish school and graduate as a nurse would be ideal. Someone who doesn’t mind spending long, late nights in front of the computer finishing an assignment or studying for an upcoming test and trying to memorize math would be great. I’m the type of person who craves the human touch, even if it’s as simple as holding the hand. Just having someone to support and encourage you and to share your days with is what I’m looking for.

But to be completely and completely honest, I am really tired of the dating scene these days. I’m tired of being judged by how I look or how I don’t look. I’ve been called “unattractive” and made more jokes about my weight than the number of fingers I have, I’ve been (literally) on dates from hell more than I can count and I’ve been “ghosted” by guys more than me can remember. In fact, the words I’ve used time and again are “I’m done”. While most (if not all) of my friends are engaged or married, I’m sitting here knitting scarves (not literally, but you get the idea). Do I feel left behind? Naturally. I also write it at my age. I am 28 and still in my education. Do I feel that most guys don’t want a 28-year-old college girl as a girlfriend? Yes, actually, but my education is the most important thing in my life right now.

I’m also on another dating site (which remains anonymous) and in the past month I’ve exchanged numbers with a man who lives not far from me. We have spoken almost regularly, but have not met yet. We lost touch for a few weeks and he recently texted me, and we got talking again. He asked me if I was dating anyone, to which I laughed and said no and that I’ve actually given up at this point, to which he replied, “No, I’m sure you haven’t and if so, don’t. All those things you mentioned, there is no better feeling than having someone in your corner or living life with them. Don’t see it as negative” to which I replied that he was right. I can’t see it as negative but with my state on duty and considering what I’ve been through I can’t help but view it as negative and every time someone tells me the right person will eventually come along and it will happen when I least expect it to which I say, screw that I had what I thought was my Prince Charming and what I thought my happy ending would have been and that was all snatched from under me It’s made me hard and cold and cynical towards love Who can blame me right now?

Somewhere my Prince Charming is there, but he’s riding a turtle or his GPS is broken. It’s okay, I’ll keep waiting.

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