Editor’s Note: If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, suicide or substance abuse crisis, or emotional distress, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or via chat services at suicide preventionlifeline.org to connect with a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support through the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741.
Suicide…. A broken system… A broken heart for something….
We all have a story, but whether we continue the pain is our choice, not anyone else’s!
Have you ever been in a dark place? Have you ever cried until you physically couldn’t breathe? Have you ever felt your heart jump out of your chest and feel like you’ve lost everything?
I have! I have been there! I have never felt or been good enough! I was told I would never become anything in life! I was told I was useless, worthless and a lost cause! I attempted suicide several times!
I lost everything I had in my life! Lovers turned their backs on me! Friends made fun of me because I was sad! Teachers told me to stop being a chicken and not good enough! I went deep into a hole! A hole that is dark and almost impossible to find your way out of!
Do you know what it’s like to wrestle? Financial? Mentally? Physically? You know what it’s like to push everyone away because you’re afraid they’ll see you at your darkest? Do you know what it’s like to physically walk around for days or months, even with the most fake smile ever, so no one knows you’re in pain for fear of getting hurt even more when you tell them what’s on your mind? I do!
So here’s what I do! I smile! I cry in private! I smile and repeat! But I’ve learned to lean on those who can read me. People tell me I’m a bad liar! I am a bad liar about everything except my emotions! I am slowly learning to smile more and enjoy the small victories in life! Suicide was my option before, but now I fight and struggle to be better than who I was! Build a support system! One or two people who have been there during the darkest moment! Tell them when you’re down, just to get it off your chest! Smile more! Try to be happier! Remember, it’s never too late to get professional help! I had to at some point. I have help and so do you! It’s never too late!
I’ve been there and I chose to fight! You can do this! You are stronger than you think! I believe in you and know what darkness looks like and really what it can feel like! 💜
A person who has been there and chose to fight